The Musical Octopus

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. When the bartender brings his beer, the guy pays him and puts an octopus on the bar. The bartender tells him, “get that thing out of here!”
The guy says, “No, wait you don’t understand. This is no ordinary octopus. This octopus can play any musical instrument you can think of.”
The bartender says, “No octopus can do that.”
The guy says, “No, really I’ll bet you one hundred dollars that you can’t find a musical instrument he can’t play.”
The bartender says, “OK you’re on. Try the piano in the corner.” The guy takes the octopus to the piano and it plays like a pro.
The bartender goes into the back room and brings out a guitar. The octopus plays a song on it. The bartender brings out three kinds of horns and a set of drums. The octopus plays them all.
The bartender says, “Alright I have one more instrument to try before I give up.” He goes in the back and comes out with a bagpipe. He sets it in the middle of the floor.
The octopus gets up on all eight legs and walks around it a couple of times then jumps on it. Then he walks around it a couple more times and jumps up and down on it a few more times.
The bartender says, “There I knew I could find one he couldn’t play.”
The guy responds, “Now just wait a minute. He’ll play it just as soon as he figures out he can’t have sex with it.”