Pacifying a Wife

Dave’s friends came up to him after work one day and asked him to go out for a few beers with them. 
Dave replied, “No, I can’t. My wife gets really pissed if I come home late.”
One of the buddies said, “When you get home, just go slide beneath the sheets, and start kissing her all over her body. She won’t say anything.”
So Dave went out with his friends and had a great time. When he got home hours later, he went into his room, slid beneath the sheets and started to kiss his wife all over.
To his surprise, she started to moan and groan. After a while, Dave told her that he had to go take a leak and for her to wait there.
When Dave got to the bathroom, he was stunned to see his wife sitting on the john.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“Shhhh,” she replied, “my mom came to visit and is sleeping in our bed.”