Odd Thoughts

– The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in high school was my blood
alcohol content.

– Home is where you can say anything you want cause nobody
listens to you.

– Sex is hereditary; chances are if your parents didn’t have it
you won’t either.

– If women can have PMS then why can’t men have ESPN?

– There is two sides to every divorce, yours and shithead’s.

– Everyday I beat my own previous record for numbers of
consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

– Isn’t it funny how the mood can change so quickly by just one
busted condom?!

– Midlife is when your realize you are so old you have to pay
some one to look at you naked.

– Middleage is when you choose your cerael for the fiber and not
the toy.

– Marriage changes passion…suddenly you’re in bed with a
relative.